Jul 18, 2007

Wedded in a Wheelchair

I wrote more generally about my and my sis's double wedding in my other blog, link at the bottom right.

That said, lets dig into the wheelie bits!

In planning the wedding, it was important to me that my dignity be respected. Balk's major request in early planning was that I wear white. Mine was that he, and preferably our whole wedding party, be sitting down. It worked out pretty well, I think:


On the dignity line, the thing that most worried me about the whole wedding was our first dance. Balk is an unenthusiastic dancer, and was not excited about practicing. I like to dance, and have studied from videos on the net, but my chair has a really big honkin' front angle. We only got 10 minutes of practice before the big day. I was nervous, and it was really rough at first. (He ran me into a chair, heh!) Afterwards, though, things smoothed out and we got better. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OxK4KSd9cMI I've been trying to solicit opinions from people who aren't my best friends, for lack-of-bias sake. Feel free to leave a comment!

Ultimately, I think much of the triumph of that night was education. Many of the guests hadn't had any opportunity to see a wheeler outside a hospital tank. When you're a radiant bride, smiles from ear to ear, and looking great, no one asks "are you okay?". They just treated me normally, sat back and watched the show. It went as well as it did because our friends had taken the time to learn what my and Balk's needs and limits were.
They tapped me on the shoulder when someone was trying to talk to me from behind, put just enough space for Camel to squeeze anywhere, etc.

In contrast, I have never felt so much an alien as when negotiating for our apartment. I had to answer the same dumb questions to three different ladies. I'm not exactly modifying the place! I'm just plopping an aluminum ramp perpendicular to the back entrance and a smaller one inside that can be shoved under the stairs. Its the same thing I've done when I stayed with friends there, so I hadn't expected to receive a third degree interrogation Gah! Finally, they agreed. Now I actually have to go out there in three weeks, and when I get a chance to post about the actual moving in process, I will.

I don't think I'll make it back to the crip blogging world again till at least September. See you then!


Penelope said...

I know I said congrats on lj, but I'm going to say it again here!

I liked the dance. If you want my con-crit as someone who used to do wheelchair ballroom, I can give it (probably using e-mail would be easier). You're right about the 2nd half being smoother than the first, but the first half was fairly smooth as well. The entire thing impressed me since all you'd done was study videos. :-)

Wheelchair Dancer said...

Congratulations, TOKAH!!!! Way to go.

Huge, excited hug


seahorse said...

Congratulations Tokah. Been over a couple of times but didn't read the bit at the bottom.
When you're back, if you fancy a meme, I've tagged you at


Connie said...

Congrats to you and your hubby!

~ Connie and Steve

used wheelchair vans said...

that is so great, and your first dance was nice! how is everything going so far??


Tokah said...

Thank you!

We just celebrated our first anniversary a few weeks ago, and things are going overall well. We've had some medical hiccups, but we're still going strong.